Thursday, 3 October 2013

Advance Warning

     If you have been here before, then I have something to say to you that you may find upsetting. Because of you, I have spent all day today hammering the life out of google images. So much of what I have had to see has been deeply distressing and traumatising, both for me and the innocent Blondies, who have unexpectedly caught sight of scenes that no child should ever have to see. With that in mind, I can assure you that the post I am planning to write will be deferred until tomorrow, when they will be be at school, and protected from further harm.

     I think it's time we addressed something. Way back in April, the very second thing I posted on here was a little piece entitled 'Ed Balls'. And some of you read it. Some of you shared it. Some of you discussed how I represented All That Is Wrong With Modern Britain and Why Free Speech Should Be Banned. And the comments underneath the original piece generated nearly as much attention as the piece itself.

     I have been haunted by the feeling that I failed those politicians, those 'men under the line'. It was cruel and unfeeling of me to ignore them, to write them off and not grant them their rightful place on the blog. And not just them. The ones I was asked about on a forum. The replies I gave to people who hunted me down online, with a request 'from a friend' to find out about a certain politician. So I knew that one day, some day, I would have to pull all that I'd written together and grant them, those men, the ones who came after, their own showcase, with photos. Yes, photos. That's what I've spent today doing.


      Now press play on the video. You need to do it now, before you go any further.

     And of course, as you might expect, I indulged in a little light Ed Ballage. And I found something. Something that made me think. And I knew that the only way to improve the situation in which I unexpectedly found myself was to add a song. Specifically, that song. I needed the chorus of that song.

     So before you scroll any further down, I need you to do something for me. Please, just trust me on this. It is of vital importance that before you go any further, before you do this, the song MUST be at the chorus. Doesn't matter if it's the first or the last chorus. You need to be precisely at 'I WANT TO RUUUUUNNNN TO YOOOUUUHOOHOOO' for this to work. You might have to pause the video, or repeat it, depending upon your reading speed, obviously.

     Ok. Are you with me? Are you keeping up to date on this?

     I'm going to put something on here now.

     PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ARE AT THE CHORUS.

     I MEAN IT. YOU WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE FOREVER IF YOU ARE NOT.

     Finger poised to press play? Finger poised to scroll?

     Ok everyone. Let's do this.

     I present...

     THIS:




2 comments:

Lottie Lomas said...

Haha! That day of Googling was worth every single last second :-)

Lucy Benedict said...

Ah thang yew